Brace yourself. We’re about to get very real over here…
Here’s the thing: we’ve come along way in the last five years. You’re bound to after that long.
From yellow photos we thought were beautiful to how-the-heck-did-we-ever-not-white-balance photos. From nasty, contrasty, harsh black and whites with no detail to perfectly even shades of grey. From images that, let’s face it, make you cringe to those that make you feel… happy and peaceful.
I’ll admit it: I’ve been a little discouraged lately. Or at a low. It seems as though there’s always something better out there. Someone better. Some better way. And you… you are amazing. Blog comments pour in with accolades. Emails from viewers and photographers. Facebook messages. People pouring their hearts out to me. Daily I am blessed by such beautiful comments and virtual pats on the back. Yet…
Yet, this whole time I’ve felt insufficient. An impostor.
So the other night, I did something that I wasn’t terribly excited to do in fear of getting even more discouraged. In fear that everything might look. the. same. That it might be uninspiring. That I might wish I was someone else. A better photographer. A better writer. A better me.
The other night, I went through nearly every blog post from 2011 and many from 2010. And you know what? After hours of perusing hundreds of images and Pinning my favorite images, I realized something. Pleasantly surprised and greatly relieved, I realized something.
It was like I saw our work for the first time.
At the risk of sounding completely inflated… I was impressed. Our work wasn’t as dry as I made it up in my mind to be. Nothing looked the same. The lighting wasn’t as terrible as I always thought it was. The truth is…
…we have captured a lot. A LOT. From tattooed brides to birds of paradise to junk yards and white sandy beaches. Nearly every type of personality you can imagine from infants to the elderly of elderly have crossed our lenses.
Sure, the compositions and posing might be slightly similar from this post to that one, but the thing is… no post contains the exact same you. Every person, every s o u l is completely different. When I look at those images I see stories. I see heartache. I see trails overcome. I see your love. I see our friendship.
And it’s YOU who makes it whole again.
It’s YOU who makes this crazy dream of ours worthwhile.
It was like I saw our work for the first time.
I am proud of our work. I am proud of how far Jesie and I have come. I am proud of that silly 1 bedroom apartment that I used to work out of. I am proud of every moment I’ve kicked the dirt and sighed, “How’d they do that?” I’m proud of every time I’ve struggled to get through a shoot… when I’ve fretted about one thing or another…. lighting, colors, chemistry. I’m proud of those times I’ve failed. When I’ve thought, “They’re going to hate these.” Every time I’ve tossed the camera in Jesie’s lap and asked, “Is there anything good in there?”
I think I finally understand what Henri Cartier-Bresson meant and felt when he said your first 10,000 photographs are your worst.
And I also have found new understanding in looking at the big picture….. and not letting the 1% ruin the 99%.
So, if you’re just starting out at anything… photography, writing, knitting, college, just remember: it takes a little time. But the good news is, nothing stays the same for long. And never underestimate the power of a break. Of time away. To recharge and reflect and come back and see your work for the first time.
Press on, friends.
Love,
René
