Let’s face it: life is tough.
That’s no surprise. I don’t know about you, but I suppose I don’t really believe in that reality until it tough itself rears its ugly head and actually smacks me in the face. Until it grabs me by my wrists and pulls me to the ground.
Only then do I realize just how much tough aches.
It’s in the low valleys, those seasons of in-betweens, those times of waiting or ingratitude that I reflect on just how grateful I should have been.
Those awful valleys of times of waiting remind me just how little faith I have. Yeah, that scares me. Of course it does. To think I so quickly forgot the faith that once drove me. Once cruise control was engaged and life was going well, faith somehow slipped out that window, and it’s forgotten about — in the blink of an eye it’s miles behind me down the road.
Only then do I realize just how desperately I need not lose sight of the bigger picture. That it’s not about me. But often times that it’s about the good thing he’s started in me. And it’s HIS good thing. To let him work in it. To wait patiently and actively for him to act.
After all, he has brought me this far.
This morning I went to yoga after having just received a second client rejection in 12 hours. I tried my hardest throughout the 75 minute class to create some space in my mind – to escape the thoughts of rejection – and to listen to what he was telling me. By the 74th minute I had finally gotten peace of mind. And as I lay in savasana, room dark, eyes closed, palms open to the ceiling, my mind was blank and then what happened truly surprised me. Out of nowhere, yet obviously somewhere, tears started to stream of the corners of my eyes down my temples. Perhaps that peace of mind brought tears of relief and surrender. That I don’t have to do this on my own.
That’s when the instructor, and dear friend, spoke of giving ourselves grace. To think of the way I would give my own children grace. To give that to myself. Because after all… I am a child.
So I’m gonna do that. Give grace. Let go. Remember who’s in charge. Put my head down and the work that I love to do, live the life I love to live.
So who’s with me? Let’s hold ourselves with a looser grip and make room from a little bit of grace. A little bit of calm. And a little bit of patience.
Actively waiting,
René
