March 18th.

A day followed by March 17th – St. Patrick’s Day.  March 18th is typically a day of recovery for those who partied too hard on the 17th.  A day when the streets are littered with trampled green shamrocks.  A day when bar employees clean up the remnants of sticky green beer.

But for me, as of three years ago, none of that has ever been on my mind.

You see, two years ago, on this exact date, my world was rocked.  Perspective was given.  Love was affirmed.

And now, every year, I have unofficially made March 18th Be Still Day.  A day when I celebrate one of the most amazing mountaintop experiences that has ever occurred in my life.

I continue to share it with you for a couple reasons.  1.) Because this is my heart.  This is the deepest part of me.  This is the core of who I am. And 2.) God has used this story in powerful, impacting ways with readers and I hope it touches you.

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I set out on a two-week journey to Sweden and Scotland, my camera as my only companion, to simply “be still and know.”  I wasn’t sure what I meant when I left, nor was I sure where I’d end up… to be quite honest.  All I knew was that my desire to just BE was insatiable.  I could hear Him telling me just to BE STILL.  To stop.  To quit moving through life so quickly.

I remember my first site of Iona as I arrived early in the morning on what we know as St. Patrick’s day.  The chilly wind blew directly in my face as I held onto the white, paint-chipped rails of the ferry boat.  I could never image what this little island and remote abby would hold for me.

After getting settled in my B&B, I set out exploring the isle of 150 people, its vast farmland and sheep, and its pride and joy: the Iona Abby.  I’ll never forget walking into the empty, stone sanctuary of the 1200AD abby.   Feeling frustrated with my journey to “be still” I knelt in prayer and asked for forgiveness.  Nearly a week had gone by and the only being still and reflection I had done was, well, was none.  I was too distracted with all that is solo-travel and driving on the other side of the road.  I set out on this journey to reflect and hear what the Lord had to say to me.

I felt like an imposter.

And so I knelt and asked the Lord for forgiveness and some focus to really open my ears and heart during the following two days in Iona.

Whispering a tearful “amen,” I got up and exited through a different door.  What I saw next nearly swept me off my feet.  I’m not sure I would’ve believed years later if I hadn’t had my camera with me.

Awestruck and totally flabbergasted, I just stood there and stared at the bench in the distance.  A minute or two passed by and I approached the bench a little closer, sitting down on it.  Feeling like I had just sat in the comforting lap of my Father.  Feeling the wood with my hands, I smiled a big smile and lifed my tear-streaked face to the heavens whispering, “You are so good, God.”

Affirmation.  That’s what He’s in the business of.  I knew when I saw that bench, I was exactly where I needed to be.

The next day, was one of those moments you see in the movies.

After a windy morning cooped up in my bed and breakfast, I decided to bear the elements and get some exercise. Heading out for a jog, I planned on running to the north beaches of the Isle of Iona.  Only a mile wide, by three and half miles long, and a population of only a hundred and fifty, Iona rests on the western coast of Scotland.  With the perfect soundtrack accompanying me, I ran north along the narrow, one lane road – one of the three roads, or rather paths, on Iona.  Small, white farm houses were sprinkled on either side of me off in the distance.  Not a soul around.  Green pastures were the majority of what surrounded me, though along my right side the ocean kept up with my every step.  I couldn’t stop thinking about how perfectly the teal blue of the ocean complimented the soft green of the earth.  With the wind pushing at my back, I ran strong for a while, hoping to catch a glimpse of the ocean I knew lay ahead.   Eventually, I came to the end of the road, with no where to go but through a small gate that led into yet another expansive green pasture, this time roaming sheep dotted the landscape.

In awe of the vast green that surrounded me, I eagerly ran like a child through the pasture, perfectly manicured by the sheep. The wind was picking up, causing me to run ever faster.  I knew I was approaching the ocean, but was unable to see it due to a large hill in the distance.  Nothing around me but a dark, stormy sky, a serene pasture, ocean to my right, and a few munching sheep;  I smiled as I ran, laughter and giggles bubbling out of me.  Finally, I caught a glimpse of the ocean in the distance. Dodging and leaping over large piles of dung, I reached the summit of the hill that had been blocking my ocean view.  Panting, I took a deep breath in through my nose, the moist ocean air filled my lungs,f as I laid eyes on one of the most gorgeous scenes I have ever seen.

Wide-eyed and grinning, I exhaled slowly through my mouth and drank in the view before me: a soft, lime green valley below that opened up to a rocky peninsula, capping the end of the island.  From there, deep, aqua blue water as far as my eye could see and crashing waves surrounded.  In the distance the ocean’s spray blew off the smaller waves and evaporated into the misty air.  The perimeter of valley along the shore was lined with tall, uneaten grass that danced in the wind just as quickly as my excited heart was beating.  I can only imagine the light of elation that sparkled in my eyes as I took a several strides down into the center of the natural amphitheater.  There, in the middle of it all, I stood.  In awe.  Overhead, the threatening, black clouds padded the scene and the cold wind didn’t cease.  I had to lean back quite hard to keep from giving into the wind’s force, but I didn’t care.   The sight was breathtaking.  I felt as if my heart was going to explode with joy.  Tears rushed to my eyes and spilled over, running down my cheeks and onto my smile.  With my body quivering in the strongest wind I have ever felt, I instinctively extended my arms toward the heavens and worshiped.

Up until the day before, I was frustrated with myself.  I felt like an imposter – traveling to a foreign land to seek peace and serenity to “be still and know that God is God.”  What does that mean anyway?  To know that God is God?  I admit, I wasn’t quite sure I knew when I left; I just knew I needed to be still and the rest would fall into place.  And in that moment, it was easy to be still.  There He met me.  I couldn’t help but stand in awe.  In awe of God.  In awe of His beauty.  His earth.  His love for me that is as deep and as wide as that ocean that stood before me.  My spirit, something with which I had never truly engaged or acknowledged, was alive and taking over.  I was soaring in a way I have never felt before.  It was my spirit, not my flesh.  And so there, on the north shores of Iona, I sang.  Uninhibited, my spirit sang and praised Him.

I wish I could better describe to you what this moment was like.  I’m not the best with words, which explains why I’m a photojournalist.  But just know that I was transformed.  On a teeny, tiny spot on the map, I was transformed.  The lens with which I view this world is pretty different.  In that moment, I became wholehearted.  I can’t really explain it any better than I had a wholeness restored in my life.  With no external influences surrounding me, I found affirmation and completeness that were secure in God.  His presence of love, peace, and joy was all that was there.  I know it sounds crazy, but I could have died in that moment and been completely satisfied and fulfilled.  I needed nothing more.  And so there I stood.  Still.  And listened to his basic truths wash over me: that He is good, He feels, He loves, and He knows all.  I couldn’t stop thinking of this resounding joy in my heart – how I wished everyone could experience this kind of joy.  I prayed for way to spread this joy to others.  I prayed for my family.  I listened to Him tell me, “I love you René.  I’ve brought you this far and I will never let go of you.”  And I knew, without a doubt in this whole world, that God is God.  What that phrase meant was undeniable.  And that knowledge was enough to keep my heart dwelling on His majesty forever.

May you find His peace, his shalom, wherever you are today.

With love, joy, and peace,
René