Renewal in Iona

30.03.10 personal, the latest & greatest

It’s been several days since my return from Sweden and Scotland.  Of course, the experience was incredible.  Many times throughout the trip, I couldn’t help but chuckle aloud to myself at the crazy predicaments I got into.  I met many people from all over the world in my hostel stays.  I walked a lot.  I got lost a lot.  I took a few pictures here and there.  I drove on the other side of the road in a grand tour of Scotland and I must confess: I might just be a better driver in the United Kingdom than the United States!  I learned a lot about myself as I moved from day to day in Sweden where I understood nothing and was influenced by only my own thoughts.  My time in Scotland was life-altering.  So many adventures, stories, and life-lessons I could tell, but one surpasses them all…

It was one of those moments you see in the movies.

After a windy morning cooped up in my bed and breakfast, I decided to bear the elements and get some exercise. Heading out for a jog, I planned on running to the north beaches of the Isle of Iona.  Only a mile wide, by three and half miles long, and a population of only a hundred and fifty, Iona rests on the western coast of Scotland.  With the perfect soundtrack accompanying me, I ran north along the narrow, one lane road – one of the three roads, or rather paths, on Iona.  Small, white farm houses were sprinkled on either side of me off in the distance.  Not a soul around.  Green pastures were the majority of what surrounded me, though along my right side the ocean kept up with my every step.  I couldn’t stop thinking about how perfectly the teal blue of the ocean complimented the soft green of the earth.  With the wind pushing at my back, I ran strong for a while, hoping to catch a glimpse of the ocean I knew lay ahead.   Eventually, I came to the end of the road, with no where to go but through a small gate that led into yet another expansive green pasture, this time roaming sheep dotted the landscape.

In awe of the vast green that surrounded me, I eagerly ran like a child through the pasture, perfectly manicured by the sheep. The wind was picking up, causing me to run ever faster.  I knew I was approaching the ocean, but was unable to see it due to a large hill in the distance.  Nothing around me but a dark, stormy sky, a serene pasture, ocean to my right, and a few munching sheep;  I smiled as I ran, laughter and giggles bubbling out of me.  Finally, I caught a glimpse of the ocean in the distance. Dodging and leaping over large piles of dung, I reached the summit of the hill that had been blocking my ocean view.  Panting, I took a deep breath in through my nose, the moist ocean air filled my lungs,f as I laid eyes on one of the most gorgeous scenes I have ever seen.

Wide-eyed and grinning, I exhaled slowly through my mouth and drank in the view before me: a soft, lime green valley below that opened up to a rocky peninsula, capping the end of the island.  From there, deep, aqua blue water as far as my eye could see and crashing waves surrounded.  In the distance the ocean’s spray blew off the smaller waves and evaporated into the misty air.  The perimeter of valley along the shore was lined with tall, uneaten grass that danced in the wind just as quickly as my excited heart was beating.  I can only imagine the light of elation that sparkled in my eyes as I took a several strides down into the center of the natural amphitheater.  There, in the middle of it all, I stood.  In awe.  Overhead, the threatening, black clouds padded the scene and the cold wind didn’t cease.  I had to lean back quite hard to keep from giving into the wind’s force, but I didn’t care.   The sight was breathtaking.  I felt as if my heart was going to explode with joy.  Tears rushed to my eyes and spilled over, running down my cheeks and onto my smile.  With my body quivering in the strongest wind I have ever felt, I instinctively extended my arms toward the heavens and worshiped.

Up until this point, I was frustrated with myself.  I felt like an imposter – traveling to a foreign land to seek peace and serenity to “be still and know that God is God.”  What does that mean anyway?  To know that God is God?  I admit, I wasn’t quite sure I knew when I left; I just knew I needed to be still and the rest would fall into place.  And in that moment, it was easy to be still.  There He met me.  I couldn’t help but stand in awe.  In awe of God.  In awe of His beauty.  His earth.  His love for me that is as deep and as wide as that ocean that stood before me.  My spirit, something with which I had never truly engaged or acknowledged, was alive and taking over.  I was soaring in a way I have never felt before.  It was my spirit, not my flesh.  And so there, on the north shores of Iona, I sang.  Uninhibited, my spirit sang and praised Him.

I wish I could better describe to you what this moment was like.  I’m not the best with words, which explains why I’m a photojournalist.  But just know that I was transformed.  On a teeny, tiny spot on the map, I was transformed.  The lens with which I view this world is pretty different.  In that moment, I became wholehearted.  I can’t really explain it any better than I had a wholeness restored in my life.  With no external influences surrounding me, I found affirmation and completeness that were secure in God.  His presence of love, peace, and joy was all that was there.  I know it sounds crazy, but I could have died in that moment and been completely satisfied and fulfilled.  I needed nothing more.  And so there I stood.  Still.  And listened to his basic truths wash over me: that He is good, He feels, He loves, and He knows all.  I couldn’t stop thinking of this resounding joy in my heart – how I wished everyone could experience this kind of joy.  I prayed for way to spread this joy to others.  I prayed for my family.  I listened to Him tell me, “I love you René.  I’ve brought you this far and I will never let go of you.”  And I knew, without a doubt in this whole world, that God is God.  What that phrase meant was undeniable.  And that knowledge was enough to keep my heart dwelling on His majesty forever.

Thank you for your support… The e-mails that poured in meant more to me along this journey than you’ll ever know.  I know I will see a few of you blog readers in person and would be happy to tell you more if so desire.  But for now, this is it.  This was one of the best days of my life…

Photos from the journey will be on the blog over the next few days.  One favorite from Iona (unfortunately, not of the aforementioned scene) is below.

With a different kind of joy,

René

To Sweden and beyond!

11.03.10 personal, the latest & greatest

God mórgon!

(That’s “good morning” in Swedish!)  I hope this note finds you doing well and you’ll forgive me for not blogging over the last week.  It’s been a crazy couple of days as I attended WPPI in Las Vegas last weekend and then boarded a plane LAST NIGHT for Stockholm, Sweden.  I’m actually not there yet, but sitting in the Zurich airport waiting for my connection.  As you can imagine, I’ve been swamped getting all my irons in the fire completed before this crazy adventure.  I promise once I return I will be posting images of my time in Vegas.  I look forward to sharing all about the work we (Pictage and some other awesome photogs such as Joe Buissink, Mike Colón, Zach and Jody Gray, and Justin and Mary Marantz to name a few) did with the Boys and Girls Club of Las Vegas.  Until then, here’s a bit about what’s going on in my world….

Qavah, pronounced kaw-vaw, is a Hebrew word that means a great deal to me.  It’s one of the 26 Hebrew words with the meaning “wait.”  Though, this word means more than to passively wait.  Qavah means to wait with hopeful expectation, to set our eyes upon what we are looking for.  Take a child, for example, that was just told her favorite grandmother was coming to visit.  The little girl paces around and rushes many times to the window to see if grandma has arrived.  There is an excited, hopeful expectation — the little girl knows grandma is coming and is waiting for her arrival.  Qavah is not passive, but active and full of life.

It is through this lens that I look at my future.  Suddenly, I find myself with the world at my fingertips.  Yet, more than ever I find myself leaning on God and willingly walking with some insecurities for the time being.  So many questions, wonders, hopes, and dreams are all at the forefront of my mind.  And in the midst of this state, in fact for the last ten or twelve months, God has strongly laid it upon my heart to simply be still and know that He is God (Pslam 46:10) and to wait patiently for Him to act (Psalm 37:7).   However, I find it extremely difficult through a busy, daily to-do list to actually be still and listen to Him.  I have a feeling I don’t slow down long enough to do so.

With that said, I’m putting the reins on and embarking on a new adventure.  Today, actually!  One adventure that will allow me to check an item off my bucket list.  With my camera as my only physical companion, I am heading to Stockholm, Sweden for a few days and then to Scotland.  I don’t have much of a plan, other than to do less, not more, and to fill my days with silence, not noise.  My intention is to do what’s been pulling at my heart for the last year and that’s to be still and know that God is God.  And take some photographs of these amazing places, of course.

I’m mildly nervous for this extended period of solo, international travel (to include driving on the other side of the road!).  Okay, maybe slightly more than mildly.  ;-)  But with the support of my friends and family and blog readers like you, I know I’ll be okay.  The e-mails that have been pouring so far in with words of encouragement are just remarkable.  Thank you!  You inspire me.  You make me want to be brave.  You fuel me to change the world around me… one story-telling photograph at a time.  I look forward to sharing this adventure with you through photos (hopefully posted to the blog while abroad).

Until then, here’s to looking outside the lens and to thinking about what isn’t in the frame!

With joy, love, anticipation, and a few butterflies,

René

P.S We just had our 1000th comment!! Wahoo!  Congratulations Kelli from Emily and Jake’s post!

Garden of the Gods: Emily & Jake

01.03.10 engagements

I have the coolest brides and grooms.  Have you ever just CLICKED with someone?  I’m talkin’ about first interaction clickage. That was Emily and I.  Jesie always tells me I have the best gut reactions and that they’ve never led us astray; I’m happy to say Emily and Jake are another win for my gut! ;-)

Emily and Jake came down to Colorado Springs from northern Denver to do their engagement shoot and get this: Emily had NEVER been to C. Springs!!  I know, right?!  So, of course, I had to show off some of Colorado Springs’ finest scenery: Garden of the Gods.  (Duh.)  Of course, we had a fantastic time, and ended the night with some Colorado Springs-brewed beer and tasty bison at Phantom Canyon Brewery.

On their eight year anniversary, Jake and Emily will become one.  Their chemistry is so obvious in these images.  You just can’t force this kind of goodness.

Love you E&J!

FAV. OR. ITE.

Love this one!  So carefree…

Love love love those tree frames!

Emily, you are a knock out!! I can’t wait to photograph you on your wedding day!